Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Ukraine, Sick Kid, and a Driving While Rocking Initiative

We're orange blogging today in support of Freedom for the Ukraine!

Sorry about not posting yesterday. After The Divine Mrs. M. left last night for ho-ho-ho shopping, Daughter No. 1 was felled by an ear infection and I spent the night calming her bloody screams down. She especially like the story of when I worked for FedEx and fell asleep in a box at the airport and was shipped to the African Savanna and had to make my way to Indiana by marrying a midget albino, being adopted by a lonely gorilla, being kidnapped by pirates, fighting 50 men, and finally hitching a ride with a she-male trucker who wrecked us into a ravine. Sleep finally came at 1 ish. The Divine Mrs. M took her to the doc today to get loaded up on anti-biotics.

Here's a new law I'd like to see passed: It's called Driving While Rocking. Traffic fines based on what's on the radio. For example, if Radar Love is playing, I think you should get 30 mph credit before any fine is imposed. I am forced to go faster. The same for Born to be Wild, Springsteen's Born to Run, and Welcome to the Jungle. If any of these songs are playing, the cop has to check a box on his little pad that says, "Driving While Rocking - Catch and Release."

You get a 25 mph credit for Saturday Night's Alright for Fighin (admit it, when they wanted to Elton and Bernie could rock!), Prince's 1999 falls into this section.

Ok, I know these examples are dated, but so am I. I need to flesh out the 20, 15, 10, and 5 mph credit brackets before I submit the legistlation so offer up your suggestions. And don't be just a rocker. John Denver's Rocky Top gets me going as, embarrasingly, does this.

BTW, I should be a freebee anytime I'm playing my Hole CD.

Stay You, Stay Orange.

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