Saturday, March 19, 2005

Musings from the Elliptical

Where I exercise has what they call a Cardio-Theatre. The movie I was watching was Ladder 49. Not bad. Heck, even I think firemen are sexy. Plus, I like anything that distracts me while getting through the cardio portion of my workout. But this time, John and Joaquin just couldn't hold my attention....

I got to thinking about how that guy in the Atlanta courtroom knocked down that 5' grandmother and shot up the place. I was thinking, "That was stupid. Didn't this woman want some help? Didn't she think to ask? Oh, I know. Probably one of those chicks can do any guy job things."

Then on the screen Joaquin was pulling some dude out of a building and I thought, "I just know there's some 5' grandmother firefighter that's going to come and rescue me in some hotel fire. -- I'm gonna burn."

I'm not a small guy. I'm a touch over 6' in my socks. I weight between 225 and 235 depending on what scale I'm using and what I had to eat that day. Some 5' grandmother won't be able to make me sit up.

If I die because of some feminist orthodoxy, will someone please kick Gloria Steinham in the balls?

Then I hit the weights.

When I got back a Steven Seagal movie was playing. I thought about taking another elliptical outside the theatre, but thought I'd give ol' Steve another shot. The movie ended up being this piece of garbage. It was set in my very own Kentucky I think. The girl next to me was an Indian (dots not feathers). She spoke with an accent so I figured she was going to school around here. I've never found Indian women sexually attractive, but beautiful nonetheless. They always seem to me somewhat graceful and intelligent. Watching the movie with her, I got terribly embarrased. My God, this movie was horrible. THere's senseless violence and a clunky romance and...well, it's a Steven Seagal movie. This is what a few thousand years of western culture has produced? I almost wanted to apologize to her.

But then I thought of India's caste system. Western civ didn't invent slavery but we did invent abolition. And I've seen a few Bollywood movies - silly and laughable if not so bad. Then there's India's poverty which isn't explained by the Raj, but alleviated by it (you know - rule of law, democracy, but not much property rights, natch).

I gave western civ a break. People like shlock. They mostly want to see naked people and thinks blow up.

By that time I did my 20-minutes and went home feeling nicely worked out.

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