Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Hand Holdin'

What's Bush thinking here? Does he have to hold hands with a man who is at best a benevolent dictator? I know we gotta get along with some bad people sometimes, but we don't have to hold there hands? Do we?

I like Jonah Goldberg's take on this when informed of Arab customs:
However, we have customs here too. Dudes rarely hold hands, and when they do it's usually because they're cops and one cop couldn't complete his rooftop leap across an alley while chasing a perp and his partner has to grab his hand to pull him up. Also acceptable is when your buddy has been shot by a Columbian drug lord and you hold his hand as you promise to look out for his wife and kids and you vow to exact revenge on Mendoza and his entire organization. When life flickers out of your buddy's eyes, you may continue to hold his hand as you shout heavenward "Mendozzzaaaaaaa!" at the top of your lungs. But most times men rarely hold hands. Even Butch and Sundance grabbed an ammo belt rather than hold hands when they jumped off the cliffside. I have searched the manual and there seems to be no exception for holding the hand of a theocratic Islamic potentate. But I may not have gotten the latest monthly supplements.

So does Bush have to hold this guy's hand? Hold hands with a guy wearing a dress? In Texas? Does he? I don't think so.

Please, Mr. Bush, you don't have to humiliate yourself just so I can enjoy $1.90 a gallon gas. Unless, unless, oh yes, here's where our Western Masculinity is saved. Maybe Bush is trying prison tactics. He's saying "Look World, I'm holding his hand. That's cause he's my bitch. I even made him wear this long heavy dress in Texas to make him look more girly. Now just watch, she'll start pumping oil or she'll get another thumpin'."

Yeah, that's it. It's not sucking up to the guy by suffering a little humiliation at all.

Could be worse.