Friday, April 22, 2005

Pre-ordination

Yes, so yesterday's post was a little silly; maybe a little unfair, but if I had died would it have ruined your day? Your morning? Nah. That's life in the blogosphere.

The one part I was uncomfortable with was writing about what my daughters would do in the future. I don't like parents imposing (transferring) their hopes and ambitions to their children. I do hope they have a happy and successful life with a minimum of pain, but with the strength to deal with any pain that does come their way.

But I do know that I - to a large extent - do predetermine their lives. I see too much of it my Daughter No. 1's school. Illigitimate kids, divorced moms and dad, dads who take off never to be seen, dads who stick around and cause even more problems.

I don't fool around on my wife, I don't drink to excess too often. I go to work every day, I pay bills twice a month, I don't beat the wife or molest the kids. I try to show love while dealing with my own screwed up head. I read them books every night. I do this because you can't tell me that this doesn't give them an infinitely better chance at that strength and happiness that I desire for them over their friends who don't remember their dads but do remember mom's last 3 live-in loser boyfriends over the last 5 years.

What got me ranting about this was this article in the Cincinnati Equirer. Sad story about a man's murdered adult daughter. The writer builds up the happy childhood of the woman:
Jim Perry's home is filled with happy pictures of his daughter growing up. A portrait of her on Santa's lap. A photo of her mugging in her Girl Scouts uniform. A snapshot of her on the observation deck of the Empire State Building.
But later we read how this woman's life did end up (besides being murdered):
Perry [the father] said he didn't report his daughter missing (whaaaat?) because she had a history of marrying men who abused her and then leaving. He believes (believes?) his daughter had been married to four different men.
I know you will think I'm mean as hell, but you can't tell me that this aggrieved father had nothing to do with his daughter's life choices that unfortunately put her in the path of a kill. I know this in my bones and won't be able to live with myself if it happens. Many are strong enough to overcome the crap mom and dad put them through, but why should they have to be that strong?

Now cut to John Mayer:
on behalf of every man
looking out for every girl
you are the god and the weight of her world
 Stay You.
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