Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The Scalito Hearings

I know I should care but I don't. I'm in an apolitical mood lately. I've read some synopsis that he's mostly likely going to get confirmed. The drama is gone and so is my interest.

However, when he does it may be a watershed political event. If he and Roberts and Thomas and Scalia stick around for a few years and all hold fast to their current convictions and if even a moderate Republican is elected in 08, then all three branches of government will have broken the hold of the liberals. To coin a phrase, it will look more like America - at least politically.

Then we'll all learn that they are not going to force women into back alleys because no body really truly wants there to be no abortion. As long as fathers have 13 year daughters that could get pregnant and could committ them to feeding another mouth there will be abortions. In such an overtly and crassly sexualized society I think it's a necessity.

I don't mean to be flippant. I have a great deal of respect for the U.S. Senate. It's the world's oldest diliberative body. however, individual Senators seem like serious jokes. Blowhard windbags. Bush seems like a smart ass to me. What I'd like to see is him send up someone who is qualified, doesn't want to be on the Supreme Court, and has an attitude. could you image how that would change these Senators self absorbed attitudes?

To Specter, he could say in a very relaxed attitude, "You're such a bitch."
To Kennedy, "Well at least I never killed a chick."
To Biden, he should answer questions like Kevin Nealon's Subliminal Man. Every fourth word would only be "Hairplugs"
To Hatch, he should ask how his wives are doing.
To Grassley, "Do they grow all of you this ugly in Iowa?"
To Mike DeWine, "You're such a bitch."
To Jeff Sessions and Lindsay Graham, he should answer all questions with an exagerated Foghorn Leghorn accent, then after finishing mutter under his breath "Hicks"
To Schumer, he should just make the yackity yack sign with his hands as Chuck asks pontificates. If he is compelled to answer he should apologize and excuse himself by saying that midgets makes him nervous.
To Feinstein, he should be very cautious and respectful, but after a while interupt her and say, "Do you feel that? There's something between us, isn't there? Maybe we should finish this over drinks and maybe....breakfast?"

This would last one day, but it would so frighten every senator that he'd take himself just that much less serious. I think a well spoken and educated conservative lawyer should offer it up as a service to his country.

Stay You.
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