Thursday, October 12, 2006

Things that Annoy Howard

I'm in a grumpy mood so today I'm compiling a list of things that annoy me.

1. Having to register for blog comments. That sucks. I did it twice last night and didn't like it. Note: make it easy for people to comment, it encourages comments which encourages interaction which encourages readers.

2. The fact that the number pad of computer keyboards is inverted compared to the keyboard of phones. I have to remember two patterns.

3. People who are incapable of returning phone calls. I use to think it was because I was in sales. However, some people don't return my calls when I call as a newpaper reporter job...doing a profile...of their business!

4. That bloated feeling you get from drinking beer. I had a rare one last night. No wonder I still to the hard stuff.

5. Is there any business section more unresponsive to people than employment/placement agencies? I’ve used them in the past and for some freelance work and they are unable to return a phone call. All of them. Even a chimp can return a phone call. Well, maybe not a chimp, but at least the mouth breathers at these places can make an effort.

6. Cheerleading as sport. WTF? It’s not a sport. You’re suppose to look good and fill in time between plays.

7. Same goes for Nascar. I don’t know what it is but I have a hard time calling something a sport when grandfather and grandson can compete against each other competitively.

8. People who look down on my blog because I use blogspot. I’m a writer first and a tech guy 1032nd. I don’t want to know about servers or FTPs or any of that crep. Besides I do have a site here.

9. I hate it when you write a brilliant 500 word post and blogger loses it.

10. Jerks at a party who mention that The Buggles Video Killed the Radio star was the first video on MTV. It’s the biggest piece of overplayed nontrivial masquerading as trivia floating around in the suburban universe.

11. I’m convinced that fluorescent lights kill the soul.

12. The fact that everyone gets there panties in a twist over Mel Gibson’s drunken anti-semitism, but noone cares about the extremely anti-English movies that he’s made over his career.

13. Bono wearing $500 sunglasses while meeting with poor Africans.

14. The tendency of experts to make things sound complicated. Most things in life are pretty simple and easy to understand.

15. People nearing retirement saying they want to downsize. What that means to your average baby boomer is selling the $150,000 suburban house they raised their family in and buying a $250,000 2,000 square foot condo in a gated community where the only Mexicans and Blacks you ever see are trimming the hedges.

16. People who tell me pets lower my blood pressure. They don’t. They cost money, whine in the middle of the night and crap on the floor. That’s not soothing.

17. People who chide me for how I write the number 7. I do it like this one labeled fancy. I don't know why. I always have. Leave me alone. And it's not fancy. It make sure it's not confused with a number 1.

18. Oh, and people who chide me for the way I pronounce the word "finance". It's Fin-ance. Not FI-nance. The first one here. Maybe it's an affectation. But my speech is full of self-conscious affectations.

19. Songs with lists in them. Like 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover or We Didn't Start the Fire. Who want's to listen to big list?

20. Sometimes, when I sit on my veranda and the moon sits full in the early evening sky and the wind carries the smell of the dogwood blossoms across the yard, the idea of swarthy foreigners running around my country bothers me.

21. Myself. I'm lazy, unfocused, undisciplined, and oftentimes unmotivated.

22. Deadlines and promises. I always have to meet them and keep them. I'm afraid if I don't that I'll die. Does that make me uptight?

Stay You.
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